5 times James doesn't kiss Sirius
by agent-oli
Summary: Love is friendship that has caught on fire. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. I read on tumblr that JP/SB ship should be called Starbucks and then this happened. First time posting so please be kind. R and R. Rated T for safety.


**5 TIMES JAMES DOESN'T KISS SIRIUS**

[Disclaimer: Not JKR, do not own, please don't sue. First story so be kind and read and review]

James is in his third year and talks erupt in the common room about how a Hufflepuff of their year has already had his first kiss. James is bummed he hasn't had the experience yet. He could just kiss Malorie Martin couldn't he? Or yank Evans by the shoulder to the nearest deserted corridor and snog her? He starts to imagine how it would be when Sirius starts boasting he's kissed before and is an expert at it. James scoffs - not knowing if he should believe the boy. But when he looks at Sirius again, he wonders how it would be to touch his thin, creased lips (then twisted into a crooked smile) with his own. Maybe it would be out of this world. Or maybe, James pauses to ponder; Sirius would hate him after that.

They are in their fourth year and the Map is complete by then. It was James' idea to hide in the broom closet on the second floor and wait for Filch to land into the trap he and Sirius had set for the old caretaker. The broom closet is too cramped and Sirius has to lean against James to stand upright. His touch makes James squirm. He can smell Sirius' French cologne that makes girls' (and his too) hearts flutter. James leans in ever so slightly to catch another whiff of his imported shampoo – a smell that momentarily overpowers his senses. Sirius turns around to offer James that mischievous smile of his that makes James melt. He wants to pin him on the door and kiss him senseless – to hell with Filch and the prank! But suddenly there is a boom and they know the prank has set off. Filch is shouting swearing outside and James knows the moment has passed. Or maybe it was never there.

It is the summer before sixth year and James feels he has never missed his best friend so much. He wonders what he might be doing and sets to pen him a letter. But he doesn't need to – there's a knock at the door and James opens it to find Sirius standing outside – his cloak wet and his body shivering from the torrential rain. James envelopes him in an embrace and only when he lets go does he realize that the other boy is bleeding. In the next hour, Sirius has bandages on his wounds; he has been washed, and cleaned, and given a hearty meal and lied down on a second bed in James' room. Sirius' is grateful for it all and thanks the Potters profusely. James tells Sirius that it is his home to, his family – they are brothers and Sirius' stormy grey eyes well with tears. James wants to kiss him then and there and he's almost reached for his face, to cup it in his hands and tell the boy he'll be fine but – He is Sirius and he is James and they are never meant to be anything other than best friends.

It is sixth year and Lily has rejected him again. James lights a fag and watches as smoke rings soar upwards and then disappear. But Sirius finds him. He doesn't say sappy things or hug him. He simply stands there, an arm around James' shoulder, and watches him smoke. Only when they've finished one whole pack of cigarettes does he say, "She isn't the one for you." And James believes him. 'Because' he thinks, 'she isn't you.' Sirius is staring intently at him waiting for him to say something and James begins to notice the smaller things about him – the freckle next to his left ear, the way his eyebrows end, perfectly harmonious, the inconspicuous scar on his temple, the sharp bend of his nose. James touches his shoulder and end the cold space between them. He brushes his lips past Sirius' pale cheeks as he hugs him hoping to make it look like at accident. At least it wasn't really a kiss.

"Sirius has been admitted to Mungo's" – 6 words echo seamlessly in James' ears as he apparates to the hospital. The witch at the reception is too slow – she doesn't understand his brother's life is at risk. He doesn't wait for the lift instead rushes up the stairs to the third floor and barges into room 3Y40. Sirius is being administered vials of potions and the Healers are crowded around him. James gasps audibly when he sees the amount of blood in his clothes (he's always had an aversion for that red liquid). He reaches out still to grasp Sirius' hand – it feels cold and lifeless. James stays there that night, ignoring Lily's suggestions, and the next morning waiting for Sirius to show some sign of life. He's almost dozing off when he hears Sirius croak out "Hello there". James dips down his head ready to kiss him – this time for sure. But he thinks of Lily – his new wife, of his four week old child that is growing inside her and he knows he shouldn't do this. He's thankful for that decision later because Remus had entered the room only a moment later.

Lily has taken baby Harry to the Longbottom's house for the day. Remus is still recovering from the last full moon. Peter is down South to visit his ailing mother. And James and Sirius are yet again alone in the house in Godric's Hollow, drinking to their memories and what the future holds in store. When Sirius staggers up to leave James doesn't think twice before grabbing him by the wrist. "Don't" – the earnestness in James' voice makes Sirius' turn around. James can't help himself, he cups Sirius' handsome face and waits for Sirius to flinch, shout at him and walk away. But he doesn't. Instead his face bears a surprised stare. James closes in on him and Sirius almost takes a step back – but it's magnetic. They pull each other closer with a force that is impossible for anyone else to experience or themselves to comprehend. It is spontaneous, electric – perfect. James presses his lips to Sirius'. And the kiss is even better than he had anticipated. Sirius is cold yet inviting; he is soft, easy – delightful. James can feel Sirius's face break into a frown and Sirius pushes him away. "James, I don't - Lily- "he begins. James claps a hand on his mouth to interrupt him, "Don't ruin the moment, Padfoot."


End file.
